Yeah, sorry. That song has been stuck in my head for days. I’m going to have to go in with a power drill to get it out. Is it stuck in your head now, too? Excellent! That means my evil plan is worki…er, I mean, uh…sorry.

In any case, what I really, really want is to give away another set of books. By now you guys should know that the prize pack includes signed paperbacks of 33 A.D., 61 A.D., 79 A.D., Saying Goodbye to the Sun, NASTY LITTLE F!#*ERS, and Old Sins. I know, I know. You know that already. See, the thing is, even though I know you know, I have to say it so people who don’t know what you know will now know. Yanno?

So what is this week’s contest going to be? Hmmm…

I explained in a comment last week why I can’t ask you to fight to the death. The same reasoning applies to the rocket-powered cross country skateboard race. Specifically, I don’t want to be liable for anything like that. I’m just a poor, starving artist type. I can’t even afford shoelaces. That’s why I wear flip flops most of the time. That might be a slight exaggeration, but it might not. I’ll let you guys wonder. Meanwhile, check out this pic of my footwear:


I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking I lied, right? You’re thinking those sure look like shoelaces holding those things together. Well, you’re right. But I didn’t buy them. They fell from the sky like manna from heaven. Or, if you don’t believe that, then imagine a story you would believe. Got it in your head? Ok, that’s what happened. Yep. Just like you imagined.

Which brings me to this week’s contest. Tell me something about those soda bottle flip flops. Anything. Tell me they are ugly. Tell me they are awesome. Tell me they fell from the sky like manna…oh, wait…maybe not THAT one. I have copyright to think about, you know.

Make it interesting. Make it funny. Make it scary or dramatic or weird. It doesn’t have to make sense. Whatever you decide to say, say it in the comments.🙂

I won’t be using this time. I’ll pick my favorite from among the comments and that person will win the books. Sound like fun? Of course it does! So have at it, folks! Free *cough, cough* literature is on the line!

–David, King of Flip Flops

And The Winner Is….

Posted: August 3, 2015 in Uncategorized

…going to be very happy in a few minutes when I announce his or her name.😉

Before I do that, I wanted to post this link to TTC Books And More, where Yours Truly has been selected as the Author of the Month. This means they will be posting reviews, links, and even a contest for more McAfee books. How cool is that? The reason I mention this is because A, it’s cool, and B, if you aren’t today’s winner, you can still go check out the giveaway on TTC Books and More.

See, folks? I’m just giving my stuff away all over the place. I should do a Goodreads giveaway, too. Hmmm…

Okay, so that’s enough stalling. It’s time to announce the winner so I can get to work. So without further ado, tonight’s winner is:

Billy Tillson!

Billy, send me an email at monkeyfeet73(at)yahooDOTcom with your details and I’ll get these out to you ASAP.

The rest of you, don’t fret! I have TWO more sets of these to give away. Plus, as I mentioned, TTC Books and More is giving away an identical set. Yeah, that’s right. If you don’t win here, you can still win over there. So go check them out and see how! Seriously.

As for MY next contest, tune in tomorrow night.🙂

Good night, folks!


I know I was supposed to post this yesterday, but I didn’t get a chance. I was working until the wee hours, as usual, but prior to that I had to make an unscheduled trip to the grocery store. Those of you with small children may understand why I chose to go by myself late at night instead of during the day while dragging two temperamental and tiny humans along for the ride, am I right? Yep. I am.

So anyway, here we are, mostly back on schedule, and I have three more signed sets of these to give away:


But of course, it’s not just those three books. Included are signed copies of Saying Goodbye to the Sun, NASTY LITTLE F!#*ERS, and Old Sins. I just don’t have pictures of those handy. But they are in there, I promise. You can trust me, right? Would this face lie to you?


Oh, wait…that’s not the picture I meant to post. I meant THIS face:

Author Photo

There. Would that face lie to you? Of course not. This face is far too cool, in a geeky, authorly kind of way, to lie to you guys. And get away with it, anyway.

So, you’re probably wondering why I’m stalling…er…prattling on. It’s because I have not yet figured out this week’s contest. So I am going to have to make up something real quick. Something fun. something entertaining. Something anyone can do…Hmmm…what have we got that we haven’t done in a while…?

Oh! Oh! Fight to the death! You guys pick some weapons, square off, and…and…no? Not worth it? Well, crap. You’re probably right. Ok, what else can we do? Hmmm…

Aha! A cross country skateboard race. You have to ride a rocket powered skateboard from New York to Los Angeles and…and…shoot. You’re not buying that one, either? Well, damn.

All right, then. How about a good old fashioned comment party? You comment on this post, and I will do the thing again, and BAM! Someone will win six free books. How does that sound? What should you say? Anything! Tell me a joke. Tell me a dirty joke. Post a picture of your dog. Post a picture of your dog taking a picture. Post a poem you wrote in grade school, or a link to a poem about pictures of dogs. Write a post telling me how incredibly handsome I am, or write one calling me a talentless dipshit who probably freebases mayonnaise. I don’t care what you post, just post something! It can be anything you like…within reason, of course. I have a pretty good stomach for tasteless stuff, but let’s not push the limits, ok? Little kids read this blog.

Okay, that’s a lie. No little kids read it. Still, be nice. Relatively speaking.

And for those of you who read the blog on Goodreads: YES, your comments there count. I don’t get into Goodreads much these days, but I get email notifications when you post there. So post away.

All right, so there ya have it. I will announce the winner early next week. Monday, maybe Tuesday. Write some stuff. Have some fun! Win some books! Go!🙂


When I announced my contest, I completely forgot that I would be out of town for a week an a half to attend a family reunion. As such, I didn’t pick a winner for the contest when I was supposed to. So I am going to do it right now. Ready? There were eight total comments (One of them was on Goodreads, but it still counts.) I’m going to go load 8 numbers to right now and let it pick one from 1-8…

OK, I’m back. And I have the winner in hand. Are you ready?

Brandy Lambdin, Congratulations! You are my first winner!🙂 Get in touch with me and we’ll figure out the best way to get these books to you.

The rest of you, don’t fret! I still have three more sets to give away. Watch this space Monday night to learn how to win the next one.🙂


More Typos…

Posted: July 12, 2015 in Uncategorized

Damn it. Two more typos. Fixing the digital files is a snap. Fixing the print files?


Just finished fixing all the files, now I have to upload them. At least I am able to do that, though. It would seriously suck if I couldn’t fix it.

It’s Past 2 AM…

Posted: July 9, 2015 in Uncategorized

…yet I’m still up working on this damn print file for the Omnibus. Why? Because when it arrived today, the interior looked like this:


AAAAUUUUGH! The whole darn book was filled with those weird spacing errors. Every. Single. Page.

So I think it was an embedding error, but I took this as an opportunity to clean up a few other things. Only taken me…um…five hours so far.


I need sleep.

All right, folks. It’s time.


Since I have four separate sets of books to give away, I have decided to run four separate contests. I plan to do one a week, with the details for each new contest revealed on Monday night. The prize for these little fun thingies will be signed copies of 33 A.D., 61 A.D., 79 A.D., Saying Goodbye to the Sun, Old Sins, and NASTY LITTLE F!#*ERS. I have a proof copy of the omnibus en route, as well, and I will probably mix it in with one of the boxes that goes out the door.

So, are you ready to learn what this week’s contest is? Well, here we go.

It’s not really a contest. Or maybe it is. I’m just a writer, so you decide. Basically, one of my readers is going to get a nice “Thank You” from me. The catch? Well, you’ve heard me talk about reviews and how important they are, so what I want to know is have you left a review for any of my books? It can be anywhere on the web: your blog, a comment on facebook, a detailed review on Amazon, whatever! If you told a friend on Twitter that you read so-and-so book and what you thought of it, that counts.

Also, it does NOT have to be a favorable review. Did you hate NASTY LITTLE F!#*ERS? Did you tell a buddy on Facebook that it sucked more than plain rice on soggy bread? THAT COUNTS! A 1 star review of 33 A.D. on Amazon? That counts, too. It can even be two words like “loved it” or “It Sucked” as long as it is obvious what you were referencing.

All I am interested in is this: did you leave something, somewhere, that mentioned my work in any capacity?

If you did, and you are not afraid to post the link in the comments, then please leave a link so my handful of readers and I can go see them. I will enter the names into a spreadsheet, and Sunday Night I will visit to determine a winner. That person will win six signed books by yours truly. Neat, huh?

This may seem like a shameless grab for reviews, but then again…

…okay, enough about that. Now it’s time to post some links. Loved it? Hated it? Wanted to wipe your dog’s butt with it but was afraid it would make the dog sick? If you told someone about it, let me know. It could win you six signed books, which you can promptly use to line a birdcage, make some nifty torches, or throw at people who annoy you. (The Omnibus in particular should be quite heavy…)