David McAfee’s Tips for New Parents (Follow at your own risk)

Posted: April 30, 2011 in Uncategorized

Time for a cute baby pic!

Okay, so today Cole is 3 months old. I have spent the last month staying home and taking care of him during the day, and so I feel almost qualified to post a short list of tips for new parents. Are you ready to partake of my hard-earned wisdom? Excellent. Here we go…

1. Your baby knows when he is hungry. It will either be more often or less often than you think, but it will never be the same as what you think it should be.

2. Your baby will sleep more for everyone else than he does for you.

3. If you are ever worried because your baby has not had a bowel movement in a while, just put him in the car seat. By the time you get to the door, that diaper will be full.

4. If there is something you need to do, but you are waiting for your baby to fall asleep so you can go do it, then you might as well give up. He’s guaranteed to stay awake until five minutes after you say “The hell with it. It’ll wait until tomorrow.”

5. If you have just experienced number 4, and you think you can do your task now, forget it. As soon as you start, he will wake up. I call it baby radar. I’m telling you, they know

6. If you have never changed a diaper before in your life, relax. They aren’t that bad. Not at this stage, anyway. They don’t start to really stink until the baby starts eating solid food. Lukily, by then you’ll be so used to changing them that it won’t even faze you. Much.

7. The old saying is true. If a baby can grasp it, it goes in the mouth.

8. If you read all those parenting materials that say you should find a reliable babysitter and take a break every now and then, and you think “Oh, that won’t apply to me. I’ll love my baby so much I can spend 24 hours a day with him, 7 days a week, and it won’t phase me,” then you are in for a nice surprise. 🙂

9. Cabin fever is a very real thing. I don’t mean the movie, either.

10. The park on a sunny day is a wonderful place to eat your lunch. As a bonus, it’s a good place to get some exercise.

11. Your baby is the cutest thing on the planet, after mine. And as is evidenced by the picture at the beginning of this post, my baby is cuter than yours. I realize I might be biased, or possibly suffering from a case of baby brainwashing, but I don’t think so. At least, Cole hasn’t told me otherwise.

Those are all the tips I have for now. I’ll probably post more as they come to me. I should also note that, for all the minor aggravations, this has been worth it. Cole is the cutest thing on the planet (see number 11), and even though he can’t do much yet, he’s still a lot of fun.

On another note, the first draft for 61 AD is completed. I really like it, too. I know I need to polish it up and tweak it, but this story ties together Saying Goodbye to the Sun and 33 AD. I had always planned for all the books to be part of one large story, and one of the connections will be revealed in 61 AD. I’m not gonna tell you which one, of course. You’ll have to read the book. I’m aiming for a June release, so it won’t be long now.

In addition to 61 AD, I’ll have four other books coming out in June:

Taras – short story about Taras.
Theron – short story about Theron.
The Gallows Tree – Horror/Ghost story about a small town in Tenessee that is haunted by the spirit of a young black child who was lynched there in 1959.
The Dead Woman – My entry into THE DEAD MAN series by Lee Goldberg and William Rabkin. (June 7)

I hope you all check them out, and more importantly, I hope you enjoy them.

I’ll be back with more news in a few days, so stay tuned.


  1. B.Tackitt says:

    11. Little boys are like Mt. Vesuvius. So when you think it’s safe to change that diaper they will pee all over. To fix this issue, open the diaper let the cold air hit, then slap that diaper right back down… This solves the peeing into their own mouth issue.

    • mcafeeland says:

      There’s already a number 11. 😉

      My thought on little boy diapers is this: Changing a baby boy’s diaper is a little like playing Russian Roulette. You know that thing is gonna go off, the only question is when.

      • Wren Emerson says:

        My second son was a hoser, in the sense that any time his diaper was off he hosed down everything in the vicinity. One time he pooped while I was changing him and, hand to God, it spiraled out like a thin green strand of Play Doh from the spaghetti making attachment.

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