So, since this is the last contest, I needed to make it a little bigger. Now, I can only do so much because I’m a starving artist, but I’ll do what I can to make this last contest a good one. Why? Because you guys rock, that’s why. And because I’m the type of guy who likes it when people rock. Got it? Excellent.
Okay, so first of all, you know by now the basic prize, right? You get signed copies of six of my books. Specifically, you get these six books:
Yep. Those six books. I thought about posting all their titles, along with links to their Amazon pages, but frankly, that’s a pain in the butt. Besides, you guys know the books already, right? Of course you do. Moving on…
In addition to the six books pictured above, I will include a print copy of the Bachiyr Omnibus.
Now, not that this is a massive selling point, but the Omnibus is the only way you can get AFTER: Taras and Theron, Beyond Jerusalem in print. (Okay, okay. I know, I posted links to those two, but that’s because I wanted you to know about AFTER, just in case you didn’t. If you already knew about AFTER, then obviously this does not apply to you…so there.) And yes, I posted all those links just to be annoying.
But wait, there’s more! In addition to the six books and the Bachiyr Omnibus, you will also get this:
This is a print copy of the Necrotic Tissue “Best Of” Anthology. Some of you may know that Necrotic Tissue was my first published credit. I submitted a short (very short!) 100-word story to them as part of a contest. That story, Cardiac Episode, won first prize in the contest and remained an editorial favorite for the remainder of the horror e-zine’s run. I really miss that publication, but I am still friends with the editor on Facebook.
Okay, so right now you are probably thinking “Wow! That’s a lot of books, David!” Well, you’re right. BUT, there is still one more book I am adding to the prize pile. A very special book. One that holds a soft place in my heart. This one:
Back in 2010, when I first started working on self publishing 33 A.D., I took a stab at designing my own cover. I drew some cool illustrations by hand, then painted them in guache, then scanned them. Then I had to fix the f***ing image about eighteen times, and it still never came out right. The result of all that hard work and frustration is the book you see in this image. This is one of the very first hard copies of 33 A.D. to have ever been printed. It was never offered for sale with this cover, and this is the only such copy in existence. There are typos all through it, and the formatting is funky, the fonts are dull and boring, and the cover type is about as attractive as dog poop on the bottom of a pair of new $200 Nikes. For these reasons and many others, I love this copy. With all its flaws and issues, it has remained a prized piece of my bookshelf.
And now, it can be yours. Why? because you guys rock, and I want to make the last contest special. Since I can’t afford to give away a Ferrari, these books will have to do.
So, now that you know what this final prize pack contains, I bet you are wondering how you can win it. Aren’t you? Yes, of course you are. You would not still be reading this otherwise. Well, let me tell you, I had to think long and hard about this one. The six books plus the Omnibus and the Necrotic Tissue issue (ha! Tissue Issue…I kill me…) are great, but that copy of 33 A.D. is gonna hurt to pack up and ship. As such, I thought this contest should be extra difficult. I figured I should really make the winner earn it, you know? So I thought up dozens of fun, yet difficult ways for you to win. The ideas ran the gamut from a cross country wheelbarrow race to an arial duel using a pair of identically prepared Sopwith Camels, like this one:
But then I realized that I have a grand total of between one and three readers, and making them risk their lives or fight to the death would be very counterproductive, since such a thing would only serve to deplete my readership. As such, all you have to do to win this prize is leave a comment on this post. NOT on Facebook! (Yes, comments left on Goodreads will count.) This contest will run between now and Labor Day, which is September 7th. On that day, I will assign a number to each comment posted (chronologically, of course.) Then I will visit our trusted friend, Random.org, and enter the range. Random will pick the winner, and someone is going to get one of my most prized possessions.
As usual, any comment counts. You can tell me to stick my head up a bull’s arse, and that will still count as an entry. As such, while creativity is not a factor in determining a winner, I would like to encourage you to have fun with this. Post something funny, or silly, or thought-provoking. Make me think. Make me laugh. Make me retch. Or just make me aware that you want the books. ;) Most importantly, have fun! (and..you know…if you wanted to share this contest on social media, that would not hurt my feelings…)
I hope you guys have a good time with this last contest. I’m looking forward to reading what you have to say. Good luck!
P.S. Just so you guys know, Adam Nel is the winner of the previous contest. He knows (I contacted him) but for some reason I forgot to post that news here on the blog.