I know I was supposed to post this yesterday, but I didn’t get a chance. I was working until the wee hours, as usual, but prior to that I had to make an unscheduled trip to the grocery store. Those of you with small children may understand why I chose to go by myself late at night instead of during the day while dragging two temperamental and tiny humans along for the ride, am I right? Yep. I am.

So anyway, here we are, mostly back on schedule, and I have three more signed sets of these to give away:

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But of course, it’s not just those three books. Included are signed copies of Saying Goodbye to the Sun, NASTY LITTLE F!#*ERS, and Old Sins. I just don’t have pictures of those handy. But they are in there, I promise. You can trust me, right? Would this face lie to you?

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Oh, wait…that’s not the picture I meant to post. I meant THIS face:

Author Photo

There. Would that face lie to you? Of course not. This face is far too cool, in a geeky, authorly kind of way, to lie to you guys. And get away with it, anyway.

So, you’re probably wondering why I’m stalling…er…prattling on. It’s because I have not yet figured out this week’s contest. So I am going to have to make up something real quick. Something fun. something entertaining. Something anyone can do…Hmmm…what have we got that we haven’t done in a while…?

Oh! Oh! Fight to the death! You guys pick some weapons, square off, and…and…no? Not worth it? Well, crap. You’re probably right. Ok, what else can we do? Hmmm…

Aha! A cross country skateboard race. You have to ride a rocket powered skateboard from New York to Los Angeles and…and…shoot. You’re not buying that one, either? Well, damn.

All right, then. How about a good old fashioned comment party? You comment on this post, and I will do the Random.org thing again, and BAM! Someone will win six free books. How does that sound? What should you say? Anything! Tell me a joke. Tell me a dirty joke. Post a picture of your dog. Post a picture of your dog taking a picture. Post a poem you wrote in grade school, or a link to a poem about pictures of dogs. Write a post telling me how incredibly handsome I am, or write one calling me a talentless dipshit who probably freebases mayonnaise. I don’t care what you post, just post something! It can be anything you like…within reason, of course. I have a pretty good stomach for tasteless stuff, but let’s not push the limits, ok? Little kids read this blog.

Okay, that’s a lie. No little kids read it. Still, be nice. Relatively speaking.

And for those of you who read the blog on Goodreads: YES, your comments there count. I don’t get into Goodreads much these days, but I get email notifications when you post there. So post away.

All right, so there ya have it. I will announce the winner early next week. Monday, maybe Tuesday. Write some stuff. Have some fun! Win some books! Go! :)

–David

When I announced my contest, I completely forgot that I would be out of town for a week an a half to attend a family reunion. As such, I didn’t pick a winner for the contest when I was supposed to. So I am going to do it right now. Ready? There were eight total comments (One of them was on Goodreads, but it still counts.) I’m going to go load 8 numbers to random.org right now and let it pick one from 1-8…

OK, I’m back. And I have the winner in hand. Are you ready?

Brandy Lambdin, Congratulations! You are my first winner! :) Get in touch with me and we’ll figure out the best way to get these books to you.

The rest of you, don’t fret! I still have three more sets to give away. Watch this space Monday night to learn how to win the next one. :)

–David

More Typos…

Posted: July 12, 2015 in Uncategorized

Damn it. Two more typos. Fixing the digital files is a snap. Fixing the print files?

AAAAAAAUGH!

Just finished fixing all the files, now I have to upload them. At least I am able to do that, though. It would seriously suck if I couldn’t fix it.

It’s Past 2 AM…

Posted: July 9, 2015 in Uncategorized

…yet I’m still up working on this damn print file for the Omnibus. Why? Because when it arrived today, the interior looked like this:

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AAAAUUUUGH! The whole darn book was filled with those weird spacing errors. Every. Single. Page.

So I think it was an embedding error, but I took this as an opportunity to clean up a few other things. Only taken me…um…five hours so far.

Damn.

I need sleep.

All right, folks. It’s time.

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Since I have four separate sets of books to give away, I have decided to run four separate contests. I plan to do one a week, with the details for each new contest revealed on Monday night. The prize for these little fun thingies will be signed copies of 33 A.D., 61 A.D., 79 A.D., Saying Goodbye to the Sun, Old Sins, and NASTY LITTLE F!#*ERS. I have a proof copy of the omnibus en route, as well, and I will probably mix it in with one of the boxes that goes out the door.

So, are you ready to learn what this week’s contest is? Well, here we go.

It’s not really a contest. Or maybe it is. I’m just a writer, so you decide. Basically, one of my readers is going to get a nice “Thank You” from me. The catch? Well, you’ve heard me talk about reviews and how important they are, so what I want to know is have you left a review for any of my books? It can be anywhere on the web: your blog, a comment on facebook, a detailed review on Amazon, whatever! If you told a friend on Twitter that you read so-and-so book and what you thought of it, that counts.

Also, it does NOT have to be a favorable review. Did you hate NASTY LITTLE F!#*ERS? Did you tell a buddy on Facebook that it sucked more than plain rice on soggy bread? THAT COUNTS! A 1 star review of 33 A.D. on Amazon? That counts, too. It can even be two words like “loved it” or “It Sucked” as long as it is obvious what you were referencing.

All I am interested in is this: did you leave something, somewhere, that mentioned my work in any capacity?

If you did, and you are not afraid to post the link in the comments, then please leave a link so my handful of readers and I can go see them. I will enter the names into a spreadsheet, and Sunday Night I will visit Random.org to determine a winner. That person will win six signed books by yours truly. Neat, huh?

This may seem like a shameless grab for reviews, but then again…

…okay, enough about that. Now it’s time to post some links. Loved it? Hated it? Wanted to wipe your dog’s butt with it but was afraid it would make the dog sick? If you told someone about it, let me know. It could win you six signed books, which you can promptly use to line a birdcage, make some nifty torches, or throw at people who annoy you. (The Omnibus in particular should be quite heavy…)

Enjoy!

–David

To me , anyway. Just got my first shipment of 79 A.D. print books. :)

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Cool, huh? Well, I think it’s cool. It also means that, finally, the gang’s all here.

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So…you guys remember a while ago when I said I was going to give you some books? Yeah, I knew you would. ;) All told, I have ordered seven complete sets of my printed works. Not all of them are for the giveaway, mind you. Some are for friends, some are for my “Free McAfee for Life” contest (You guys remember that one, right? Only one winner actually came forward to claim her prize.) and some are for my personal bookshelf. But three lucky people are going to get signed print copies of the following titles:

33 A.D.
61 A.D.
79 A.D.
Saying Goodbye to the Sun
NASTY LITTLE F!#*ERS
Old Sins

Does that sound like something you’d enjoy? Of course it does. So how do you win? Well…not yet. Details on the contest will be revealed in the next few days, so stay tuned to the blog. The reason for the delay is not as nefarious as you might think. I’m actually hoping I can give away a couple of Omnibus Editions, as well. But I can’t include them until I know they are going to be printable. I do know they are gonna be some thick suckers! Over 700 pages of Bloody Bachiyr Mayhem. And I’m reaaaaaally fond of the cover, which looks like this:

Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000039_00041]

Cool, huh? of course it is. I just finished uploading all the files and setting the distribution channels for it, so as long as the Amazon review goes well it should be available soon. I’ll have to order a proof, of course, but none of that should take too long.

So anyway, in closing, paperbacks are here. Yes, I’ll be giving some away. No, I can’t do it quite yet. Because I’m evil. Any further questions will have to be directed to my assistant, who doesn’t exist. As such, it might take a while for him to get back to you. Good help is sooo hard to find…

–David

It’s Alive!

Posted: June 29, 2015 in Uncategorized

Finally! After far, far too long, 79 A.D. is out and available for you to read. Even more amazing (to me, anyway) is that I was actually able to get both the print version and the ebook version out at the same time. Sales today have been brisk. Not “New House and a Ferrari” brisk, but good enough that I am smiling.

At least until the reviews start coming in.

This is the real test. The book did great with the advance readers, but now it’s swimming with the sharks, so to speak. I no longer have any fingernails. I’ve eaten them. This part is always nerve-wracking.

Tonight I will finish the print version of the Bachiyr Omnibus, and I will upload what I have to Amazon so that it, too, will be available in print. I very much doubt it will be available the same day, however. In fact, I’m certain it won’t. It will probably be a week behind, but a week isn’t too bad, is it?

Also, Lyrical Darkness seems to be doing well. It has garnered two 5 star reviews thus far. If you like short, dark fiction, you should pick up a copy. It’s available in both print and ebook formats.

Okay, I am going to go for now. I want to get this omnibus up and running so I can get back to work on BAIT. I hope you folks have a fantastic night, and thank you so much for making 79 A.D.‘s opening day so awesome!

–David