..instead of posting anything useful, I’ll clog up the blog with this picture of my bike. :)


There. I feel better. Content! Precious content! Woohoo!

There really isn’t much to talk about today. I’m at my desk about to start work for the night, but I wanted to stop by the blog first and say hello. So far, BAIT is coming along nicely. I’m not as far into it as I would like to be at this point, but that’s because I’m a slacker. Although I did just win a mighty battle against an invading army of small black ants that apparently took a liking to the Pepsi can I stupidly forgot to throw away. I’d like to say there were no survivors, but with those little buggers there are always survivors. They are probably planning to murder me in my sleep.

Hey, that could be a book!

Nah, it’s been done.

On a weird note, I picked that book because it suited my blogging purpose, but after reading the description I really, really want to read it. Looks like I know what my next Kindle purchase is gonna be. Damn my curious nature!

By the way, in case anyone is curious, the bike in the picture is a customized 1993 Ducati 900SS. I bought it last Summer and have been staring at it in my garage ever since. I don’t get to ride it much because the Wee Ones don’t really fit on it, but every once in a while I get to take it out and party. Sometime this Summer I am going to run it up the Dragon, which is only about an hour away from me. With 318 curves in 11 miles, it’s pretty much the ultimate motorcycle road. I’ve been on it once, but I was riding two-up on a much heavier bike. This time should be much more fun. With luck, I’ll even make it out alive. ;)

Well, folks, I really ought to get to work. BAIT ain’t gonna write itself, after all. Hope you have a great evening, and I’ll be back in a few days to talk to you again. Hopefully I’ll have gotten 79 A.D. back from the editor by then. Oh, and I also have a short story in a coming anthology that I…er…can’t actually talk about yet. Damn. Forget I said anything…

In any case, thanks for checking back. Have a great night, folks!

See Ya!


Wow. I’ve been scrolling through my comments and I can’t believe how many I missed! My Yahoo notification was off on my phone for about two months last year and I didn’t realize it, then one day it dawned on me that I hadn’t gotten any emails to my Yahoo account in a long time. So I checked, and yep. I’d signed out of it like a dummy and never logged back in.

That’s not the best excuse, especially since a number of these comments fell outside that two month window, but it’s the only excuse I have so I’m gonna use it. To those of you who never got a reply, I am so very, very sorry. I did get your comments, and they mean the world to me. Thank you for taking the time to offer up some feedback. I hope you come again and drop off another note, even if it’s to tell me I suck. Because, well, I pretty much do.

It feels odd trying to get back into the writing swing after so much time has passed in writing limbo. Blogging is even more so. I was able to write over 6,000 words in BAIT last week, and I’m hoping to top that this week. Right now the manuscript is sitting at 32,000 words, with a projected completed length of 80,000 to 90,000. (For comparison’s sake, 33 A.D. is around 92,000 words.) So if I can write 10,000 words per week – a highly attainable goal – the first draft should be ready in less than two months. Add in editing, cover creation, and “let it gel” time, and I hope to have BAIT out sometime around Labor Day. Now, my planning is atrocious, so don’t hold me to that. I should have had 79 A.D. out two years ago.

But again, I suck.

So to all of you who are waiting for 79 A.D. and have been doing so with little to no info coming from me, your wait is nearly over. I emailed my editor, and he said that he has been ill, but he’s on the mend and should have the book back to me soon. Once he does I will be staying up late 7 days a week to get it out to you ASAP. I have the digital cover already, but I don’t have a print cover because I need a finished page count (to determine the spine width). But none of that should take long once the editing is complete.

As usual, I will be formatting the book myself for all reading platforms, including print. The print formatting takes longer, so expect a week or two delay between the digital release and the print release. I’ll let you guys know when it’s coming up.

Also, I have a short story that I just finished for an upcoming anthology. There are some extremely talented writers contributing, and I feel very fortunate to have been asked to participate. I will give you more info as it comes in, but the basic premise was that all stories must be based on popular songs in some way. I chose Satisfaction, by the Rolling Stones, and I’m extremely pleased with how the story came out. Again, more details to come soon.

That’s about it for now, folks. I’ll be back again soon, so check back often. As always, if you have any questions, feel free to ask them here. I will answer them as quickly and honestly as I can. And no, it won’t take a year.


Ok. I suck. A lot.

Most of the time I can be found on Facebook, where I am a bit more active in interacting with people. But that’s no excuse for ignoring this blog for so long. At issue, of course, is time. As the primary caregiver to two small children, time is precious to me, and there never seems to be enough of it to do all the things a solid writing career demands, like promotion, marketing, connecting with readers, or…you know…writing. :P

So my wife and I were discussing this the other night and we came to the conclusion that I should just stay up late at night to get some work done while everyone is asleep. Tonight is the first night of that, and as you can see, I’m actually blogging. Woohoo! Not quite the same thing as getting some actual writing done, but still important. I intend to do more of it in the coming weeks as I work my way into my new schedule. At the very least I should be able to post updates on a semi-daily basis.

I hope.

In any case, just so you know, 79 A.D. is finished and on my editor’s desk. He’s been a bit under the weather lately and so has not gotten to dig too deep into the manuscript, but it’s coming. Finally.

I am working on a new project called BAIT, which is about a junkie who hunts Bachiyr. He uses himself as bait, hence the title. I don’t want to go into it too much right now, but there will be more information posted here in the coming weeks. The next Taras and Theron book is in the development phase, which basically means I’m still cooking it up in my head for the nonce.

If you are curious about the film for 33 A.D., let me just say that I am, too. As yet, there has been no news from Hollywood. These things take time, I’m told, so I’ll keep sitting here with fingers crossed hoping you guys all get to see Taras on the Silver Screen in my lifetime. I’ve always pictured him as looking like Chris Helmsworth, although other readers have suggested Alexander Skarsgaard. I suppose either would be fine with me. Heck, they could get Rick Moranis to play Taras and I’d probably be on board with it. Ok, maybe not Rick Moranis…

In any case, that’s most of the news that is fit for consumption. I hope the two people who will read this enjoy it. I will be posting more in the coming weeks and months (really!), so I hope you folks are ready to start hearing from me again.

See Ya!


So, I tend to let most comments through, even the negative ones, because I like hearing from all points of view. If you surf back through the comments on this blog, you will find comments that talk about some mistakes people have found in my books, or how I was wrong about this, or didn’t know much about that, etc. Expand that surfing to include my email and you will find many, many more. I am all right with that. It’s part of being a writer.

Typically, when a reader sends me an email to let me know they found a mistake in one of my books, my reply is to thank them, then go fix the error. Many of you can attest to this, because you are the ones who notified me of the mistakes.

However, if you contact me, and your venom-filled diatribe includes phrases similar to “hire me as your editor, or at least find an editor who is not a complete r-tard,” odds are pretty good I’m not going to run your comment. It’s one thing to pick apart my books, I’m used to that, but it’s quite another to insult an entire group of people in order to do so.

Also, sending a second comment to complain about how I didn’t publish your first comment fast enough to suit you (less than 24 hours later, in this case) is not going to make me want to discuss anything with you on any level.

Oh, Goody!

Posted: February 21, 2014 in Uncategorized

Today marks my first Friday of work. Well, not really. Today is the first Friday that Heather has off under her new schedule. The nice thing about that is it allows her to have a day with Cole that she doesn’t typically get.

It also allows me to write for several hours. :)

It’s the perfect time, too. All my side projects are completed or nearing completion, so today I can focus all of my attention on 79 A.D., which as you guys know is long, long overdue.

Well, better get started.

Today is going to be a good writing day. I can feel it.

Okay…Here Is The Big News!

Posted: December 19, 2013 in Uncategorized

Yes. I know it has been yet another long silence from Yours Truly. I know. I should be better behaved. Typically, most of my thoughts and news updates, such as they are, get posted to my Facebook page. I enjoy talking over there because it’s so much more interactive. Whereas on the blog, it feels more like I’m on a podium, talking TO a bunch of people instead of talking WITH them, if that makes any sense. So…if you are reading this blog, but aren’t following me on Facebook, why not?


But today is different. Today, I have news that is just too big for my Facebook, and so I will post about it here and then post the link there so everyone can read it. I’ll also post the link to my Twitter. (Yes, I have one of those, too…geez! Where have you guys been?) Okay? Okay.

I have been sitting on this news for about as long as I can stand it. I’ve hinted about it on my Facebook page, and of course I’ve spilled a bean or two about it to some close friends whom I knew I could trust not to blab. But now, finally, I can tell you all what has got me so ridiculously excited that I only slept for about two hours last night.

33 A.D. has been optioned for film by Winkler Films in Hollywood, CA.

Yup. You read that right. 33 A.D. has been optioned for film.

Let me say that again, because I really, really like saying it. 33 A.D. has been optioned for film!

As some of you may know, Winkler Films is the production company that brought us Rocky, Goodfellas, Raging Bull, Taken, The Net, and a great many others. And now they want to make a movie from MY book! How off-the-charts cool is that?

So how did it all go down? I’ll tell you. I got an email from someone at Winkler Films on Monday, October 28th. This person (who I will not name) wanted to know if the film rights for 33 A.D. were available, and also asked if I have an agent or manager they should talk to. I emailed back and said yes, the rights were available, and asked if they were interested in acquiring them. A few minutes later, I got the reply. Yes, they wanted them, and again they asked if I had an agent they could talk to.

You guys should all know by now that I did not have an agent. So I emailed one and waited. I figured I’d wait to see if the agent was interested in taking this on before replying to Winkler Films. But then someone else at Winkler emailed me. This time it was the actual producer who was interested in the rights. He emailed me and said he loved reading it, and asked if I’d ever considered adapting it for a screenplay. I said yes, and we agreed to have a phone conversation to talk about it.

The phone call happened on Wednesday, October 30. I talked to the producer for about 20 minutes on a wide range of topics. Before we got off the phone, he told me he would put an offer together and email it to me in a few days. So once I hung up (and after I finished my fist-pumping air guitar solo) I emailed a friend of mine who is a writer in Hollywood. He put me in touch with his agent, who told me to forward the offer to him and he would look at it. The offer arrived in my inbox the next day on Halloween. I forwarded it to the agent, who said it was a pretty good offer, but he thought we could do better. So he said he would call Winkler Films the next day and start the negotiations going.

He called me again the next day (Friday, Nov. 1) to tell me where we were with the deal. It was better, but still not where he wanted it to be. So they spent the following week in negotiations, and then my agent called me again on Monday, Nov. 11, to tell me that the deal was in a place that he liked, and then he explained it to me. I liked it too, and that was it. The rest was just waiting for the contracts to arrive.

And just like that, I had an agent and an option for a Hollywood film, both of which I didn’t have two weeks ago. And in case you are wondering…yes, that makes me very happy.

Okay, enough of that. Some of you probably have a few questions. I know I would. So here are a couple of FAQs, and my best attempt to answer them:

Q – So does this mean there will be a 33 A.D. movie?
A – Not necessarily. This was an option, not a sale. What that means is Winkler Films basically bought the right to adapt the book for a screenplay and then pitch it to Hollywood studios, who will then decide if they want to invest in the film. Optioning film rights is the first step toward getting a movie made, but it is far from a guarantee. Hollywood options a huge number of film rights every year, but only a handful actually become movies.

Q – So why are you so excited?
A – Are you kidding? The possibility is there for something that could be huge! This possibility did not exist for me two weeks ago, and I would have laughed if anyone suggested it would come to be. So while there is no guarantee that there will ever be a 33 A.D. movie, it is much closer to becoming a reality now than it has ever been before. Besides, just the fact that Winkler Films believes in the story represents a tremendous validation of my work, and it sure was good for the ol’ ego.

Q – Are you writing the screenplay?
A – No. The production company will hire someone to adapt the book to a screenplay, and I’m more than happy to let them. I love my book, but books and movies are two totally different animals, and what works in a book does not always work in a movie. As such, I would most likely screw up the script by trying to force things to work that just weren’t meant to be.

Q – If a movie is made, will you have any say in who they cast?
A – Nope. I’ll have about as much control over that as I do who gets nominated to the Supreme Court. In other words, none at all.

Q – Will you have any input in the film?
A – I might. Then again, I might not. The production company is under no obligation to include me in the process. That doesn’t mean they won’t, it just means they don’t have to.

Q – What about 61 A.D.? Did that get optioned, too?
A – That’s complicated. But suffice it to say, if a 33 A.D. movie is made, and does well, a 61 A.D. movie would almost certainly come after. Pretty much the entire Bachiyr franchise could potentially be made into movies, but that’s a very, very long reach and would require a lot of stars to align in just the right way. So for now, I will just focus on 33 A.D.

Q – Are you going to retire now and move to some tropical paradise?
A – No plans to retire, but that tropical paradise sure sounds nice. Of course, unless I want to live on a sidewalk or park bench of said tropical paradise, I should probably just stay put and keep writing.

Q – What can I do to help?
A – Make as much noise as you can. Most of you already do that, anyway. Just remember to recommend the books to your friends, leave reviews whenever you can, and don’t forget to stay the incredible group of people that you are. Because honestly, without you guys, none of this matters, anyway.

Q – Blah, blah, blah movie, blah, blah, blah, option. So frickin’ what? When is 79 A.D. coming out, you slacker! Don’t make me come over there with a crowbar!
A – I deserve that. I have not met my (or your) expectations with regard to the third Taras and Theron story. All I can say is: put down the crowbar, your wait is nearly over.

That’s about it for now. I expect that the wheels of Hollywood are as slow, if not slower, than the wheels of publishing, so I don’t know when I will have any updates. I promise to share any news with you guys the as soon as I get it, so stay tuned, ok?

And The Winner Is…

Posted: December 7, 2013 in Uncategorized

There were plenty of entries that made me laugh, like the one about saving money on car insurance and the one about zombies in Fifty Shades of Gray, but one of the entries seriously cracked me up. Here is is:

Sorry folks, but I have the inside information:
You are a transvestite who goes by the name Luscious Von Shtupp. You served some time in prison after a botched attempt to kidnap Rush Limbaugh and keep him as a sex slave. During your time in jail you wrote your books in a effort to keep “that sexy man” out of your head. After your release you provided information to the authorities about a torrid night you spent with Bea Arthur, 2 goats and a midget. Due to Bea’s connections with the Amish Mafia, you were placed into witness protection. But, now, the Fed’s believe that enough time has passed since Bea died and have agreed to take you out of Witness Protect, in order to follow your true dream of writing a series of coffee table books titled “The Exciting World Of Underwater Basket Weaving”, under your “real” name, Luscious.

Yep. Bill Landers, you win the autographed copy of 33 A.D. and the $10 Amazon gift card. Woohooo! Congratulations!

Email me at Monkeyfeet73 (at) yahoo dot com and I’ll get your information. Thanks for the brilliant laugh. All my readers can now refer to me as Luscious or just Miss Shtupp.

In other news, I received the contracts for my big news the day before yesterday. This means I should be able to make an official announcement next week. Stay tuned, folks!